I posted about my experience of The Soulmate Attraction Formula in our little dating chats group (add me here if you want to be added to it) after promising the girls I’d keep them updated on it. The course, an initiative of Galway girl and all round amazingly lovely human Patricia Lohan is something I took part in to review for the magazine I work with. It was so interesting and I got so much out of it, that I wanted to share it with the girls. As the piece is out in print in the magazine now too, I guess I can’t really keep it a secret that I loved it! And as our Facebook groups are so hard to find things in, I’m braving putting my thoughts on it here for you all.
I would class myself as an optimistic sceptic, so when the publisher asked if I wanted to do it to review it, I jumped at the excuse to take part, along with all of my doubts! I think anything that has personal development and happiness at its core can’t be bad for you, but I wasn’t expecting to come out of it with a man.
So here are a few things about it that I would have wanted to know before signing up, along with some things that really worked for me, though I’m sure other parts would work really well for others.
1. How does it work?
It’s an online course and each week you have a bunch of videos to watch, a workbook of homework to do, actions to take and a group call with the other participants and Patricia and sometimes guest speakers. Each of the 7 weeks looks at a different aspect of love and life. It starts with the most basic thing – feeling safe. For me it was even a revelation to realise that I didn’t really ever feel safe and had never thought about that. Other weeks are more focussed on letting go of past relationships, visualising your future, forgiveness and emotionally healthy things. And because it’s online, you can do it from anywhere in the world.
2. Something I found Amazing
Forgiveness exercises! I didn’t feel like I had resentment about past romantic relationships, but I did have other people in my life who mentally I had forgiven but I’d still get a horrible, sick feeling in my stomach any time I thought of them. The exercises in the course helped me get rid of that, and for mea this was beautiful because I had come to accept that this was something that would either take years to leave me or may just always be there. I also have a terrible tendency to keep every guy I’ve ever dated and liked in my life. Some of those relationships are healthy and some are not. But working my way through the course, I started to get a feel for the healthy feeling good and the unhealthy not feeling good – it’s easy to tell yourself something is unhealthy, but then actually feeling like making the right decision can be a totally different pony! Patricia’s practices and advice brought me very far in feeling like making the right decisions – not all the time, I’m no pro, but definitely more so than anything else has done this for me. Thirdly, I realised that how guys were treating me, was how i was treating myself and there were negative patterns that once I could see them, were easy enough to start changing.
3. It’s Holistic, Spiritual, Alternative, Hippy Dippy, Cheesy and ‘Woo Woo’!
That may or may not be your thing. My advice is that if you sign up for it, be ready to just do whatever Patricia tells you regardless of what your initial feelings on it all are. And do all of it. And go back over things you missed or think you got nothing out of the first time around. I was super committed because I was doing it for work and I wasn’t going to half-ass something I needed to review, so I had to leave any prejudice aside and just do it all. What came from that was amazing, because stuff I might never have done, actually did amazing things for me.
4. You Know How You Want to Fancy the Good Guys But You Just Don’t?!
You know how you maybe fancy people that aren’t good for you and then you meet really lovely guys but don’t fancy them at all? And you DON’T want to settle for someone you don’t fancy the arse off. (I don’t want you to either, please don’t ever settle!) But it would be cool to just magically fancy the nice guys. One thing I found from it was that as I changed, and changed how I treated myself (which was by no means bad before but you can always be nicer to yourself), I started to feel what I was attracted to changing as well. Only a little so far but it was noticeable. And it wasn’t like I was meeting loads of nice guys to fancy either, but it was like the idea of nice guys who are good to you became…hotter. Don’t get me wrong I still want a fuckin’ looker like, but I do feel like fancying someone now has become more about the whole package and less about one specific thing I really like about them and throwing everything else I want out the window because they are hot/interesting/whatever. But qualities that I don’t want in someone have definitely become a turn off. Like physically.
5. The secret number 5, only read if you’re not the guy I’m currently dating 😉
Since finishing the course I met and started dating a guy who I massively fancy and who is totally different to anyone I was meeting or dating before the course. Really specific things that I decided I wanted in a guy during some of our homework and exercises, cropped up in conversations with him by the end of date one. I nearly ran out of the room to go “What the?!!!” Like really specific things. That could 100% be a coincidence and I’m totally open to that. But aside from him being awesome and things being great, I was delighted about everything I got out of it overall. I’m not going to say he’s my soulmate because I still don’t know if that’s what I’d ever call anyone, and I’d also die if he finds this! (Early days 😉 ) But we’re defo having the lols and he is the sweetest.
I think the cost of the course is €800 but Patricia is doing an early bird offer as well. And if you sign up via our link here, and then drop us an email (firstname.lastname@example.org), you can have 10% off either the early bird or full price fee. It still might not make it doable for you but if it helps, cool!